IT IS A......

BOY!! 

Yes, despite our best efforts to keep it a secret from the kids until Christmas, and everyone else, Ben discovered the balloons as we were trying to stuff them in a box, so everyone gets to find out 3 days early. :)

YAY for another BOY!!!!  Let's bring back the blue!!

Yikes.

I am not sure what about this picture is supposed to be comforting. I don't think anyone wants to be compared to having a watermelon inside of them. (As Drew said... something squishier would be nice). I am just sort of hoping that she comes before next week... because that picture is a PUMPKIN!

I finally gave in and packed my bag, groceries are bought and put away, all the laundry is done, the house is clean, plants are watered, Ben plans in place.

I have just decided that I am just not going to feel ready until she gets here... and maybe not even then... but at this point the only way out is through. :)

Lord willing, my mom arrives tomorrow morning (she is flying stand-by, SLC to LAX to ATL to AVL) which will be nice to not have to worry about getting Ben somewhere once labor really hits. But, my mother-in-law is great and would come at any hour of the night, so even is she doesn't decide to wait it is not a big deal.

So we shall see.... maybe she will be 10 days late to balance out Ben's 10 days early. Life is going to be interesting... I have a feeling this little girl will turn out lives upside down. I am a first born, Andrew is a first born and Ben is too... what are we going to do with a second born??? :)

Baby Shower

Our wonderful church family hosted a baby shower last weekend for my friend Rebecca and me. It was a wonderful time of fellowship (and food :) and a beautiful time of prayer.

And here was the amazing diaper cake they made for Baby Girl Z! Isn't is just amazing?!




And here are Rebecca and I with Rebecca's cake. The cake is a little misleading, but she found out yesterday that she is having a girl as well! YAY for girls! Ben and Rebecca's little boy Ezra are 2 months apart, so it will be fun to have girls now too!

Not Ready Yet

Just like every other pregnant woman, I keep getting asked if I am ready for the baby. What does that mean? Do I have diapers? Yes. Do I have clothes? Yes. Carseat? Yes.

Am I ready? No.

I know, I know. I really need to get on the stick, since if this baby came when Ben did that would have been YESTERDAY! That was a little bit of a reality check. But I am just not ready. And the problem is, I don't know how to get there. I think part of it is the fact that as #2, I haven't been able to sleep 10-12 hours a day for the past 4 months. Also, between grad school, Andrew's long work hours, trying to sell a house and a 2-year-old I just haven't had time to think about it. And I also think that part of it is that I have NO idea what I am going to do with a girl. I find myself still thinking about her as a boy. I know boys. I do boys. Girls.... I am lost.

I know God will give me grace, but I am just not quite ready for that next step yet... although, I think it will be here soon, whether I am ready or not. :)

36 Weeks and counting...

Well, we are reaching the end... and thank goodness because this baby is feeling HUGE. (Emily F. if you are reading this, just know you are amazing...). Apparently Baby Girl is about the size of a crenshaw melon (show of hands... how many of you even know what that is, let alone deal with them on a regular basis??) Other than having ankles that won't go back to normal even after having them up for 8 hours, wearing crocs because the thought of bending over to put on socks makes me sick, getting up 5 times a night to use the bathroom, and being able to eat about 6 bites before feeling so full I am nauseous... things are going well. :) That said, I am still living in a state of denial... I don't have the carseat in the car, I haven't packed a bag and I haven't updated my birth play (for the hospital or for what-to-do-with-Ben-when-I-go-into-labor). I probably should, but maybe not doing it will keep her from coming for at least a little longer. :)

I have bought a "coming home" outfit, have washed put away all the tiny clothes, she has a name and I even have some newborn diapers... so I am slowly getting there.

Ok, off to fold some more hand-me-downs! I am constantly amazed at how God takes care of our every need. I have bought two outfits for this little girl, and yet she has enough clothes to last her almost a year. I have been blessed over and over by the body of Christ being His hands!
And I will sign off with the verse that has popped into my head the last few days over and over.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely,
and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless
at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
-I Thes. 5: 23-24

33 Weeks

I found a slide show today, showing the relative size of this baby girl. Here we are at 33 weeks (good thing I didn't find it last week... who wants their baby compared to a jicama??)

So here we are... 33 weeks... only 7 or so until Baby Pineapple makes her appearance? I can't believe we are into the single digits! AHH!

Preparing for Baby Girl Z

I am not a big fan of pink... ok, that is quite understated. I HATE PASTEL PINK. So when we found out that this time around we were having a little girl I was less than thrilled at the prospect of finding girl clothes... since almost everything you see is pink.

As I have been doing errands and such I have been allowing myself to look through the girl things and to my delight, there are quite a few non-pink options! This dress just called my name. And for $5 how could I resist?!

Thanks to having an older brother, this little girl will be wearing a lot of yellow and green and probably a fair amount of blue and puppies... however, I am glad that there are a few options for making her girly without turning her into a marshmallow peep!

This week I have been doing laundry and washing all the blankets and baby clothes (Praise the Lord for hand-me-downs and borrowed clothes or this child would be naked :). I think I am finally getting excited about a baby again. It has been a process... I have SOOO been enjoying Benjamin, not nursing, having my bed to myself again, not wondering constantly what they are thinking etc. But by God's grace He is again restoring the desire to hold another baby and love her and I am sure He will continue to change my heart as we head into these last 10 weeks or so! YIKES!

Some Much Has Changed....

And yet so much is still the same....

My goal is this upcoming year is to blog a little more than I have, which isn't saying much I suppose... :) But here is a little update on life to get us started:

BABY - As I mentioned earlier (and you can now see from the little ticker-thingy) we are having a baby GIRL... and the time is quickly going by! Next week marks the beginning of the 3rd trimester! This pregnancy has been significantly harder than the last one but has definitely gone faster.

GRAD SCHOOL - Andrew is DONE! He now has his MBA from Wake Forest University. He finished his final (and most grueling) semester the middle of December, and we have really been enjoying have a husband & dad again. :) He gets his diploma this Friday at a special ceremony and will walk in May.

HOUSE - We, sadly, still have our house. We are currently going through closets, dusting, touch-up, painting etc. to get it ready to put back on the market in March. Please be in prayer with us that it sells quickly! (I would prefer not to have a baby and move in the same week :-P).

BENJAMIN - Ben really warrants his own post, but I will give a little update here. He is growing up SO fast. Ben turned 2 last weekend (and Andrew turned 28... old man!). He is talking/singing etc. non-stop(I heard him singing happy birthday to "daddy" a few days ago... so sweet), loves Mr. Potato Head and loves pretending to be different animals... current favorites are a little doggy, little kitty and a little elephant. Parenting is becoming more interesting and challenging as he tells me "one more minute mom" about 50% of the time... but we love him all the same. :)

USBORNE - My book business really boomed over the Christmas season, between Andrew's work and school schedule and my book fair schedule we didn't have a spare minute! It has been good, and Ben has loved getting new books to read... something we wouldn't be able to afford right now, so it truly is a blessing!

LIFE - Andrew and I celebrated 7 years of marriage in December! I can hardly believe it has been that long... and as proof that it has been 7 years we STILL have not gone out to celebrate. :) Other than that, life seems to be moving along at a speed altogether to fast. :)

UTAH - We were able to go to Utah for two-whole-glorious weeks over Christmas. I will post a few pictures soon, but it was a wonderful time with family. We were able to stay the whole time with my brother Micah, who is currently going through chemo for Stage 1 Lymphoma. It was a blessing to stay with him... we were able to go to one of his chemo treatments and see what he is going through (his final treatment is today... PRAISE THE LORD!) We were also able to visit with old friends and even make a few new ones, see my brother Nathan play the lead role in the musical The Fantastics, play LOTS of Settlers of Catan, 500 & Wii bowling, eat way too much good food and generally just enjoy life as a family! Benjamin was spoiled by his 3 uncles, 2 grandparents and one great-grandparent (my mom's dad was able to come in for a week). Ben also got his first real experience with snow... he still isn't sure what to think of it... but every time he looks at his boots in his room he points and says, "Boots! Utah!!"

If there are any readers still left... I promise to update more often!

Not Exactly the Plan

Well, I had a few contractions this morning (1-6am) and was just starting to get my hopes up when they disappeared. So, today Drew and I were just two blurry-eyed people going about our daily business.

To fill up my day I decided to do a few errands. Grab some milk, eggs, medicine for the dog etc. Nothing huge, just busyness. It all started with the grocery store... I was pulling into the parking lot and... my faithful, amazing, Honda died on me... thankfully I just turned it off and on again and it ran fine.

I continued on, and heading home I was coming off the highway and merging onto a 6 lane road when... it happened again. :( Thankfully the guy behind me slowed down in time, but it is not my favorite experience... so I called the mechanic and poor Cord is sitting there waiting for some wonderful person to figure out what is wrong. (So far they can't figure it out).

Meanwhile we are still waiting for Baby Z, although the doctor said today it could be any time. Hopefully we will get our car back with the car seat before Baby arrives...

The Crib :)

Ok, it is not the greatest picture of the crib, but it will do. It is beautiful solid wood, and we bought it at a yard sale!! It was the "crib at grandma's house" so although there are a few dings and scratches it is not totally worn. So there you have it... Baby Boy's room... ready and waiting.

The Baby Room

Well, it has been "finished" for a few days. Although, we did add the little bookshelf and lamp last night. The chair is a place holder, we have yet to pick out a rocker/recliner. That will come with time. :) And I know it is lacking wall decor and curtains, but we are still holding out hope that the house will sell, so we don't want to do too much. :-P

Thank you again Josh & Missy, Rachel and especially Andrew who did all the work.

The little bucket on the floor are all the board books. This is looking from the doorway.

And here is the amazing consignment shop changing table that Missy found me. There are buckets for onesies, clothes, burp clothes/blankets, diapers, ointments and socks/hats/misc!

OK, blogger hates me... so check back soon for a picture of the crib. :) Another great (read: cheap) find!

L

Is he here yet?

I am ready for Baby to be here.

OK, so my bag is not packed and in the car, but that should happen tonight.

The crib is ready.

The changing table stocked.

Car seat installed.

Childbirth class complete.

Laundry all folded.

BABY IS THE ONLY THING MISSING.

I am 37 weeks 4 days. And I figure the sooner it all happens the less he will weight... isn't that a good thing? It doesn't help that my doctor told me today, "I am on call today, Saturday & Sunday... maybe I will see you!" It does nothing for my resolve to be patient and wait (which there really isn't much of) to know that she thinks I could go any time! Andrew will be gone Friday night-Saturday night, so pray Baby doesn't come then... but anytime after 8pm Saturday works for me! Let's just get this show on the road!

Artsy??

I have never considered myself artistic. I can't draw worth beans, I don't have a clue how to decorate or how to put colors together (which is why my wedding was all black & white and my house is all neutral-blah) and craft projects/creative memories projects intimidate me. I am even left handed, which usually means you have more a creative side... but I must have missed that part of the package (I got all the rest, I can't even cut with my right hand!).

However, as I was cooking yesterday I was thinking about how that may be a way I am creative. I enjoy cooking, but HATE HATE HATE baking. I do not like to measure. Measuring is for the birds. I prefer the dump, sprinkle, pinch, smidgen, pour-in-whatever-I-have, sort of cooking. It is always a surprise and you don't have to remember whether you put in 3 or 4 cups of flour. I also like baking bread, which again, is not an exact science. If you add too much flour, you add more water, and visa versa.

It will be interesting to see how it plays out in being a parent. I hope this baby gets a little creative-think-outside-the-boxness, but there is precious little between the his two first-born parents. I will teach him to play piano, but it will be songs from a book, I haven't a clue how to make it up as I go. I plan to sing to my baby, but I don't see myself making up songs. Just as I see myself reading him tons of books, but I have never been able to make up a good story to save my life. I just hope he isn't scared for life. :)

Where do you fall on the creative scale?

Where would I be?

Where would I be without friends who take care of me?

Well, for starters:

• Baby Z's room would not be painted
• The chair rail would not be up
• I would only have 5 baby outfits
• I would not have 100+ outfits to wash and put away
• I wouldn't have had them all put away right now
• Baby's closet would still be a mess
• The changing table would still be in disarray
• The crib sheet would not be on, ready to welcome Baby Z
• I would not have 20 people praying this Baby doesn't come on a Saturday (while Drew is 2 hours away, from 4am-8pm)
• I would not have had money for a car seat
• I would have had cereal for dinner Saturday night
• AND SO MUCH MORE!

The LORD is good, and He give me good things, like amazing friends who pray for us, and generously give, and come over and help when I am overwhelmed.

I wish you could have heard my friend Jen sing in church yesterday, but you will just have to get by with the words:

How sweet the Name of Jesus sounds

In a believer's ear!

It soothes his sorrow, heals his wounds,

And drives away his fear.

Head Down, Chin Tucked

For those of you who are doctors, in training to be a doctor, or even thinking about being one, let me give you a piece of advise:

NEVER NEVER EVER EVER tell a woman she MAY be breech (meaning he is head up instead of head down), and that you will check at her NEXT appointment, TWO WEEKS FROM NOW!!!

Well, that was the case with me on December 27th, and try as I might I still worried and stewed over it, attempting to analyze every possible movement. Well, after a week and a half I couldn't stand it any more and called to move up my appointment. By God's good grace, Baby Z was head down, chin tucked, pointed at my right hip... just like he should be. :) I think he was just being like his daddy... not late, but just works on his own time schedule, and WILL NOT be rushed.

Time is moving on... I am less than 4 weeks from my due date! Hopefully I have at least another 2 weeks... his room is still half-painted, with no chair rail and everything is piled in the center, and we have yet to have our car seat installed. Not to mention we haven't been on our hospital tour or met the pediatrician yet. AHH! So much to do. But, if he comes early, we will just be glad he is here...

SPENT

I am Spent.

I can't really think of another word to describe it. And it is hard to blog when you feel so spent and drained. (Hense the lack of entries :).

The last few weeks have been a roller coaster, our lives have been turned in circles, we have had a few nose dives and a few slow climbs out of the pit.

A few weeks ago (after we sent out Christmas letters, for those of you who may have gotten them) Andrew's job went from fine to one-more-paycheck almost overnight. Since then it has gotten better (we have a few more paychecks) but trying to mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually deal with all of it has left us, well... spent.

Our house is still on the market waiting for a buyer, and Drew left to start his first weekend of graduate school today (3 days this weekend and every Saturday for the next two years), and Baby Z is due one month from tomorrow. We have also spent many nights laughing with good friends and family, celebrated our Savior's birth on Christmas, brought in the new year and celebrated FIVE amazing years of marriage on the 28th with a massage and a 24-hour escape (we are now officially old :). Although we still have no idea where we will be 1 year or even a few months from now God has given us an incredible peace about the whole thing. We are learning to literally rely on Him moment by moment... and for that I am thankful.

Here are the words to a song I have been playing over and over. My amazing husband got me all the Red Mountain Church CDs for Christmas. (If you haven't heard them, you need to.) They couldn't have come at a better time. They help to calm the soul... and being 8 months pregnant I need that often. :)

COME BOLDLY TO THE THROWN OF GRACE

YE WRETCHED SINNERS COME

LAY YOUR LOAD AT JESUS' FEET

AND PLEAD WHAT HE HAS DONE

HOW CAN I COME?

SOME SOUL MAY SAY

I'M LAME AND CANNOT WALK

MY GUILT AND SIN HAVE STOPPED MY MOUTH

I SIGH BUT DARE NOT TALK

COME BOLDLY TO THE THROWN OF GRACE

YOU LOST AND BLIND AND LAME

JEHOVAH IS THE SINNERS FRIEND

AND EVERYONE'S THE SAME

HE MAKES THE DEAD TO HEAR HIS VOICE

HE MAKES THE BLIND TO SEE

THE SINNER LOST, HE CAME TO SAVE

AND SET THE PRISONER FREE

Babies, Defects, Doctors & Food

I know, another pregnancy post, but other than sleep and vacuuming up dog hair there isn't much else to write about. Although, I can solve almost all the puzzles in my "Ultimate Sudoku" book. :)

Last night at childbirth class we found out that one of couples was having their baby, as we sat there. A month early. Praise the Lord that everyone is doing fine, and they have a beautiful baby girl, but it was a little bit of a wake-up call. :)

I am sitting at my desk, eating my post-breakfast, pre-real-lunch snack (an apple) and have decided to tell you about one of my defects. I am not sure if it is from my mom's side or my dad's but the distance between my top lip/teeth and my nose is FAR too short. I cannot eat an apple without getting my nose all wet and sticky. Hopefully Baby Boy gets Drew's perfectly proportioned lip to nose spacing.

And finally, I had another doctor's appointment today. My blood pressure was like it always is... a little high because I am at a doctor's office. I found out I passed my 3 hour glucose test!!! No gestational diabetes for me! (For those of you who don't know, they test you by making you drink this stuff that tastes like totally flat orange crush and then take your blood after 1 hour to see how your body handled it. Well, I didn't pass that one, so I had to go back in for the 3 hour, which means you fast, they take your blood, then you drink the nasty stuff which is twice as sweet as the last time, then you sit and wait and pace and do sudoku and then they take your blood at 1, 2 & 3 hours. Thankfully I got a good blood-drawer dude and he stuck me 4 times in the same arm and not even a mark!!) So, that has been my life of late. Long blood tests, childbirth class, work and doctor's appointments.

We have a wonderful Thanksgiving planned... THREE WHOLE DAYS of NO classes (accounting, stats, childbirth or otherwise), NO work, baking pies and rolls and sweet potatoes, eating lots, and we plan to cut down a Christmas tree AND see the Broadway version of My Fair Lady!!! Does life get much better??

What are your Thanksgiving plans?

Nearing the End

Yesterday officially marked the beginning of the 3rd Trimester. For those versed in pregnancy lingo, that is 28 weeks. Only 12ish more to go! For everyone else, that means LESS than 3 months until Baby Boy arrives. SCARY.

In a way it feels like I have been pregnant forever; I can't remember a time when I have not gotten up at LEAST 3 times to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. In other ways, I can't believe I am already here, the 3rd trimester, I thought it would never come. Lord willing the next 3 months will go quickly, I am hoping the holidays will distract me from the uncomfortableness. :)

L

My Baby

Well, I don't didn't have a digital version, but here is a picture of a picture. In case you can't see it, this is a picture of his profile. It greets us every morning. :) The picture is a little over a month old, he is now about 2 1/2 lbs and 15 inches long!

Feeling Real, Part II

Ok, I forgot a couple things from my last post that have made this "having a baby thing" seem even more real:

• Sleeping in weird positions (Thanks Jenna for the reminder). I can no longer sleep in my regular side/stomach position, I am now propped up with pillows and flip a lot. And it is only going to get worse.
• Once a month our church walks forward for communion, and often an entire family will got forward and the pastor will pray for the young children who do not yet take communion. Well, a few weeks ago, when we went up our pastor pulled us aside and prayed for Baby Z. It was amazing, and weird and made me cry. :) He is already a child, with a soul, and God already had a plan for his life. Incredible.