Just like every other pregnant woman, I keep getting asked if I am ready for the baby. What does that mean? Do I have diapers? Yes. Do I have clothes? Yes. Carseat? Yes.
Am I ready? No.
I know, I know. I really need to get on the stick, since if this baby came when Ben did that would have been YESTERDAY! That was a little bit of a reality check. But I am just not ready. And the problem is, I don't know how to get there. I think part of it is the fact that as #2, I haven't been able to sleep 10-12 hours a day for the past 4 months. Also, between grad school, Andrew's long work hours, trying to sell a house and a 2-year-old I just haven't had time to think about it. And I also think that part of it is that I have NO idea what I am going to do with a girl. I find myself still thinking about her as a boy. I know boys. I do boys. Girls.... I am lost.
I know God will give me grace, but I am just not quite ready for that next step yet... although, I think it will be here soon, whether I am ready or not. :)
2 comments:
:-) I'm sure if I were having a boy, I would probably feel the same way... although at least I did have little brothers. But I keep telling Jeremy, if this baby totally surprises us by coming out a boy, I think I'm going to have a heart attack.
I think I have only started feeling really "ready" in the past week or two... probably because of having a chance to actually think about it for the first time. I'm sure you'll get there soon. :-) Hope you're feeling well!!
God's grace does include adjustments to new
life. When the second comes, you'll be ready! There's such power in seeing that precious, new little face for
the first time... You were made to give this little one life! Trust God's sovereignty on that account.
As for sleep... That's overrated anyway. (Observe my time in writing this) ;-)
And girls... Well I definitely side with Jess on that one. If you need any suggestions feel free to ask :-).
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