We all have plans - some small (I plan to do laundry today) and some big (I plan to get married). It is hard to live life without them. And yet at the same time, as Christians, we know that we are not in control of our days and it is God who controls it all.
In the last 3 years we have had many many plans, many of which didn't happen. We planned to sell our house and build a smaller one, we planned for Andrew to find a great job during grad school... we DID follow through with a few... such as finishing grad school and finding a job that used his degree (even if it did take 2 years longer than expected).
At first when things didn't go according to plan I panicked and cried a lot (granted, I was pregnant a lot of the time), but over the past few years I have found a greater rest in our Creator and knowing that His plans are good. Not saying I feel that way instantly, but there is a shorter time between panic and rest. :)
In early March we found out that we were expecting Baby #3, only to find out a week later that it was something called a molar pregnancy. In a week we went from excitement and talking Baby to words like Cancer and Blood Tests and Hormone Levels. To make a long story short we lost the baby and due to the type of miscarriage getting pregnant is not an option for at least a year. We are so thankful that my hormone levels have plummeted from 88K in the middle of March to 4.3 last week, (...meaning that it looks like we are hopefully in the clear for the possibility of cancer) but such a huge change of plan was quite a shock.
We are not sure what the next few years hold when it comes to having children. Adoption has always been something we have felt called to, and planned to do... we were just planning to wait until we had another child or two. Perhaps God is moving up the time line. For right now we are just greatly enjoying the two amazing-crazy-healthy Blessings God has given us and resting in a God who knows the plan for our family, even when we can't see it.
3 comments:
Personally I have always been amazed at the calmness you have shown in the face of upheaval of your plans. When you told me about this, you had such peace. You are an example to me, who likes to moan about the least little thing that doesn't go my way. Whatever happens, your children are blessed to have you for parents. And I'm blessed to have you as friends.
Wow. I agree with Rachelle. Glad you are doing better, and hope and pray you continue to improve and / or stay healthy!
!!! I am so sorry I did not see this before today. I've been really out of it when it comes to blogs. I too am amazed with the calmness you show anytime your "plans" don't pan out in your time frame. You display true faith and I admire you for it. Praying for you in this year. {HUGS} from afar.
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